poems anonymous

finding yourself in silence is hard. but finding yourself in the loud is harder. it teaches you to find silence in the loud. to keep breathing when it gets dark. to tell yourself that you can't pass out yet. to know that you can fight through it. to know what constants are in the face of fear and uncertainty. finding yourself in silence gives you peace. finding yourself in the loud gives you power.

i may be shallow. i may be narcissistic. i may be fake. but no one sees that. and if no one knows, it won’t matter. but i will know, and i will hate myself as many would. but i would much rather take the self-loathing.

i am a balloon. i make myself look captivating. i make people happy.  every day, i push in more air.  every day, the pressure builds. and when the party ends, i pop.

  you eat too little, or too much. you’re too skinny, or too fat. you’re too hard on yourself, or not hard enough. you’re too nice, or too mean. you care too much or don’t care enough. you’re too smart, or dumb. so you eat the perfect amount, have the perfect weight, have the perfect amount of grace with yourself, be perfectly behaved, have the perfect amount of effort so people know you care, and get perfect grades without being a suck-up. but no one likes the perfect girl, because they try too hard.  so stop trying to be perfect.

how to be fake,  how to lie.  how to play the game,  and how to win.  how to intimidate,  and how to manipulate.  i learned how to be perfect, how to get what i want,  and how to survive.